Falling Upwards

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Karma, Karma, Karma Chameleon November 13, 2011

you come and go,
you come and go….
Every day is like survival.
You’re my lover, not my rival…

11.11.11 has come and gone. Soon it will be  2012. And, if the estoterics and mystics are correct, big big changes are soon coming. If these past few years in my life are any indication, I think those changes have already begun and are now really gearing up to go.

I had started this blog as a result of large changes in my life. Though the events two years ago were painful and put me in a mental fog (never a fun place to be), what happened is exactly what I needed to happen… to get on with my life, to get out of a bad relationship that I was unwilling to change for myself, to open up my life and heart to be able to accept better things.

The changes didn’t end there, though.  That was just the beginning.  And, maybe because 2012 is fast approaching, this past month has been a doozy. Outside of my intention and control, the Universe has been dotting my i’s and crossing my t’s for me (yes.. I blame it on the Universe, but in a good way). Relationships I have (had) that, in the back of my mind, had unresolved issues have firmly been ended; some very neatly, some in a messy messy way. They have been relationships from both this life and past ones.

Without going into detail, each end of each instance of relationship (friendship, business or otherwise) served to do something for my life. One ending fulfilled a karmic debt from a past life. Another severed my connection to a very negative person and dark set of people. A third ends a decade-long relationship that always had possibilities which were never filled or explored but was left hanging; a loose thread that needed to be cut to tidy things up.

Last night, I had a very bad fight with my son, resulting in him being grounded for the first time in his 16 years (maybe the first time I’ve really had to act like a parent). This morning, I gave him a letter telling him of my love for him and asking him to re-set “us.” It is a new day, after all. And, with this day, we can each make a choice… to continue our relationship the way it has been, combative, anxious and lacking patience.  Or, we can each choose to change how we react to the other, to be aware of each other’s needs and issues, to be loving and kind without taking things personally, knowing that, in our relationship as mother and son, we are both here to teach the other a life lesson.

I do not know what my son will choose to do.  It is his choice. I have no control over that. And, though it will hurt me tremendously if he decides to continue his side of the relationship as it has been, that is his path, his journey to his life lessons.  I can make my own choices: to be a gentle, loving but firm mother whose purpose is to bring light into her son’s life.

The Universe has plans for me. Far be it for me to sit idly by without helping it along and making changes for myself, for my own life.  I think this is where we are all at right now. We all have to make these choices… what kind of person do we want to be? what kind of relationships do I want to have? how will I choose to view my life and the opportunities it presents? And, we have to intentionally do something about those things. I think the Universe is done waiting for us to act so that these changes will happen with or without our consent because, I think, it’s a matter of survival now… for the World, for all of Humanity.

“Because the truth is, it doesnt really matter who you used to be. Its all about who you’ve become….” — Live Love Laugh (Facebook)

Advertisements