Falling Upwards

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life is nothing left to chance November 20, 2009

Filed under: poem,Uncategorized — frannymarie @ 12:45 am

I’m re-reading Extraordinary Relationships, and in it, the author makes a distinction between “emotions” and “feelings.”

She writes:
Emotions are the intense reactivities, both physiological and mental, including the instincts, that are generated in the part of the brain humans share, anatomically and functionally, with the rest of the animal kingdom….They can sometimes be so strong they seem to carry with them life and death urgencies.

Somewhat distinct from emotions are ‘feelings,’ which are simply emotions that have come into awareness.

This morning I wrote into my journal (about this blog),
“I had put raw emotions into my blog. Does that continue? My emotions are no longer raw. They are clear. And, though the feelings surface every so often and want to spill out, I can see them now, before they do, and choose. I wonder if this is what God meant by ‘free will.'”

And, with that, my first poem that is not attached to those raw (often negative) emotions…

Choices

Emotions rolling, roiling, coiled
striking out in directions beyond me
uncontained, unbidden, unbound

Feelings observed, noted, pondered
pulled in, reigned, sorted
gently acknowledged and released

with care
with compassion
with free will.

(end poem)
btw, the subject line comes from this Rush song, “Free Will.”

 

Left Unfinished November 16, 2009

“Why was I born?
Sometimes I wish I didn’t know
Been times when
I wish that I had just never been
Why did you have me?
Or better yet why’d you leave?
So to the parents who could fuck
But then abandoned me ”
– Machine Head

This doesn’t really apply to anything except that I was looking for a song lyric or title that said what I wanted — “Left Unfinished” — and this is what popped up. Funny that.

It’s funny because one of the books I’ve read in the past basically says that most of our issues comes from our parents, and their parents. They’re handed down through generations.

I haven’t been writing here for a couple of reason. One, we broke up about 2 1/2 months ago. But, the main reason is that I felt this blog was so negative. It was getting me down, and the thought of writing was getting me down. Recently, a friend from college found me. Turns out, he’s got his own blog and is also going through a divorce. So, he inspired me to, at the very least, finish this thing I have started. And, bring it up to a positive level.

One thing about this blog that has been nagging at the back of my mind (that happens when you leave things unfinished).. I’ve been meaning to list the books that have really helped me through this whole process, if only to help someone out who is out there looking for this info. I know I’ve mentioned a couple of them in past posts. But, here’s a list of a few I started off with:

Extraordinary Relationship: A New Way of Thinking About Human Interactions
by Roberta M. Gilbert, M.D.

The Monogamy Myth
by Peggy Vaughn

Dance of Anger
by Harriet Lerner

For those with a Christian bent –
Jesus: The Greatest Therapist Who Ever Lived
by Mark W. Baker, Ph.D.

For those with a Buddhist bent –
The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living
by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler, M.D.

For those who are Both –
Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality
by Anthony de Mello (a Catholic priest who sounds like Buddhist)

For those with a New Age bent (like myself) –
Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life
by Judith Orloff, M.D. (an energy psychiatrist)

I am also currently reading

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.

The Power of Intention
by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Sacred Contracts: Awakening Your Divine Potential
by Caroline Myss

and,
The Artist’s Way
by Julia Cameron

There are several more not listed here that I’ve devoured the past few months, but this’ll give you a start.

From here on out, I’m definitely Falling Upwards.